“Even in the most insignificant details of our daily life, none of us can be said to constitute a material whole, which is identical for everyone, and need only be turned up like a page in an account-book or the record of a will; our social personality is created by the thoughts of other people.”
― Marcel Proust,
I read that quote years ago, and it always rolls around in the back of my mind… like a marble, if you will. Like it or not, how we perceive a person might not be who they really are within the pathos and construct of our mind. Memory is faulty, perception is fluid. So what a tricky thing to fall in love with another person when we are, at our best, nebulous and always changing.
Love, true love, must be grounded in something or else like some magnificent force of electricity that’s even stronger than banal perception. You imagine, if you were to tell your lover to meet you in dreams, there is no real guarantee you would be having the same dream.
Recently, I’ve begun watching Showtime’s The Affair. The series is brilliant in how it divulges these larger questions; how can you really ever know somebody?
With DAMAGED GOODS: THE BREAK-UP ISSUE, I want to open up a dialogue about perception, memory, relationships, and the strange nature of being intimate at all. I also want to challenge the all-too familiar (and inherently misogynistic) narrative of the woman scorned, “the crazy bitch”, and how a man can walk away scot-free while his lies congeal into the zeitgeist. I want to posit: would you rather erase all the memories from the past or still prune the garden of your memory even though the flowers of the affair have begun to rot? And lastly, when we’re at the end of one journey, what is the turning point that alchemizes our bitterness into beauty?