Julie’s Diary by Daniel Martin Shapiro

Friday, Sept 1, 2017

Dear Diary,

Stayed at Smokey’s for two hours. Not one hot guy showed up. One! Damn it!

 

Saturday, Sept 2, 2017

Dear Diary,

I hate art school. All the cute guys are gay.

 

Sunday, Sept 3, 2017

Dear Diary,

So high right now! Thanks, Sean and your creepy friend. Sunday fun day.

 

Monday, Sept 4, 2017

Dear Diary,

Classes suck, but fall is coming. Looking forward to the crisp fall air. I love it. I also like the word “crisp”.

 

Tuesday, Sept 5, 2017

Dear Diary,

Shot video for the project. People would stare as we filmed the scene. Can’t say I blame them.

 

Wednesday, Sept 6, 2017

Dear Diary,

If Digital Underground reunited I would so go even if Tupac declined to do it.

 

Thursday, Sept 7, 2017

Dear Diary,

Today sucked, but then Trish showed me the funniest porno. Lifesaver.

 

Friday, Sept 8, 2017

Dear Diary,

My friend was harassed outside our building. Safety is a white male privilege.

 

Saturday, Sept 9, 2017

Dear Diary,

The leaves are falling and turning, but it’s still too fucking hot. wtf?

 

Sunday, Sept 10, 2017

Dear Diary,

We snuck a cat into our room. We’re naming it Bernice.

 

Monday, Sept 11, 2017

Dear Diary,

I’m too old to be in school and arguing with idiots I barely know how to finish this project.

 

Tuesday, Sept 12, 2017

Dear Diary,

Smokey’s on a Tuesday? Why the fuck not? A guy asked for my number, but he wasn’t my type. I could see in his eyes that he was butthurt even though I let him down gently. I think. Sorry, buddy! Too short, no glasses. Left early.

 

Wednesday, Sept 13, 2017

Dear Diary,

Shooting shooting shooting this this this project project project sucks sucks sucks.

 

Thursday, Sept 14, 2017

Dear Diary,

It was actually kind of fun shooting today. Still, sucks that we have to do it outside class to get it done. But four hours credit is four hours credit.

 

Friday, Sept 15, 2017

Dear Diary,

Almost done shooting! Thank god. That editing class better not fuck it up because we’re giving them gold to work with. People really stared as we shot this time. One of them looked familiar. I understand why people stared. We had people doing and saying atypical shit.

 

Sunday, Sept 17, 2017

Dear Diary,

Found this diary in her purse. Don’t know why I’m writing this. I’m going to burn it. Julie seemed nice. I almost regret killing her.


Daniel Martin Shapiro is a writer and comedian from Wichita, Kansas. His work has appeared in Untoward, Hypertext, and Chicago Literati. He was also featured in the book Bare-Knuckled Lit: The Best of Write Club.

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